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Want to be a better speaker? Start by listening differently

Bev HeptingBev Hepting | Power Up Speaking Club

Posted: Tue 9th Sep 2025

Most people think powerful speaking is all about what you say – your words, your slides, your delivery.

But here's the twist: if you want to truly connect, captivate and convert, start by understanding how your audience listens. Speaking isn't just about broadcasting. It's about receiving, too.

Why listening styles matter

Every person in your audience filters your message through their own lens:

Their past experiences (especially with public speaking!)
Their emotional state (nervous? sceptical? hopeful?)
Their attention span (spoiler: it's shorter than you think)
Their goals (what's in it for them?)

When you understand how people listen, you stop performing and start connecting. You shift from "How do I sound?" to "How do they feel?"

Pause and reflect

Think of a time you felt truly heard. What made that moment stand out? That's the feeling your audience is craving.

Now flip the lens: when was the last time you didn't feel heard? What was missing? That gap is exactly what your audience hopes you'll fill.

The brain edits what it hears

Our brains don't just absorb information – they edit it. Listeners subconsciously:

tune out jargon and complexity
perk up at stories, metaphors and emotion
remember what's relevant to them, not necessarily what's most important to you

Imagine your message as a bridge. Are you building it with bricks of logic, beams of emotion or cables of credibility? The strongest talks use all three.

And here's the kicker: your audience decides what's memorable before you finish speaking. Their brains are scanning for meaning, safety and resonance in real time.

Four listening styles to know

Not everyone listens the same way. Some crave structure, while others want inspiration. Some need reassurance before they can hear your call to action.

Here are four types of listener to look out for:

1. The analyser

Craves data, logic and clarity.
Speak to them with frameworks, statistics and step-by-step logic they can follow.

2. The empath

Craves emotion and connection.
Speak to them with stories, vulnerability and shared struggles that build trust.

3. The sceptic

Craves proof and credibility.
Speak to them with results, testimonials and transparency that earns their confidence.

4. The dreamer

Craves vision and possibility.
Speak to them with vivid futures, metaphor-rich language and imaginative ideas.

Quick check-in

Which style do you lean toward when listening? And which one do you tend to speak from? Noticing the gap is the first step to bridging it.

Some extra insight – most audiences are a mix. You might have a room full of empaths and one vocal sceptic. Or a sea of analysers quietly craving a story. Your job isn't to please everyone – it's to reach them.

Listening as your confidence superpower

If you're building your confidence as a speaker, this is your secret weapon. Instead of obsessing over perfection, focus on perception. Ask yourself these questions:

What does my audience need to feel safe, seen and inspired?
What might distract or overwhelm them?
What stories or visuals will help them remember my message?

When you speak with your listeners in mind, you stop fearing judgment and start building trust.

Try this: before your next talk, jot down three things your audience might be feeling. Then ask: "What would help them feel heard?"

Confidence doesn't come from knowing everything, but from knowing your audience. When you speak with them, not at them, your message lands with power.

The listener map exercise

Want to make this practical? Try mapping out your audience's listening styles. Ask yourself these questions:

What's their biggest fear or frustration?
What kind of language do they use?
What do they want to hear – and what do they need to hear?

Then shape your message like a journey they'll want to take – with you as their guide.

Most people think speaking is about projecting – your voice, your message, your presence – but the truth is, the most powerful speakers are also the most attuned listeners.

The power of listening

Listening isn't just a passive skill – it's a strategic superpower that transforms how you connect, communicate and lead.

When you understand how others listen – what they tune into, what they filter out, what they emotionally respond to – you stop speaking into a void and start crafting messages that land with precision and heart.

Listening teaches you empathy

It teaches you to read the room, to notice the subtle shifts in energy, to hear what's not being said.
It helps you move beyond your own agenda and into a shared experience, where your words become a bridge rather than a spotlight.
A speaker who listens knows that every audience is different: some crave logic and clarity, others need emotion and vulnerability, and many are quietly sceptical, waiting for proof before they lean in.
When you listen deeply – to your audience's fears, hopes, language and lived experience – you begin to shape your talk like a journey they want to take. You choose stories that resonate, metaphors that stick and calls to action that feel safe and inspiring.

Listening helps you manage nerves

Instead of obsessing over how you're being perceived, you shift your focus outward: "What does this audience need from me right now?"
That question grounds you, calms you and gives your message purpose. It's no longer about performing, but serving. And when you speak from that place, your confidence grows naturally. You're not trying to impress – you're trying to connect.

Listening sharpens your delivery

You notice when your audience drifts, when they light up, when they need a pause or a pivot. You become responsive, flexible and emotionally intelligent. You stop clinging to your script and start having a conversation – even if you're the only one speaking.
And perhaps most importantly, listening makes you trustworthy. People don't just want to be informed – they want to be understood.
When your audience feels seen and heard, they're more likely to engage, remember and act on what you say.
They feel like you're speaking with them, not at them. That's the difference between a good talk and a transformative one.